Tall Tales

We love this page! This is where we invite you to write a tall tale about the outback and submit it to us.
It’s really easy, just write a short story of between 100 and 200 words about a character or event that did (or could have happened) at or near the Burketown Pub and submit it to us using the Say G’Day form. If we like your story, we’ll publish it and maybe even make a poster of it.
Every six months, all the new stories go into a draw to win to win a week’s accommodation, meals and bar tab for 2 at the Burketown. It could be you, so get it in, OK?
Oh, and if you’d like to link to our Online Mates page, the conditions are simple; your site has to be relevant to the outback and we want a back link too. Again, send us yer’ link with the contact us form.

White Boys CAN Jump

Troy and Curtis, what a pair. Two of the skinniest, tallest dudes you ever saw. Didn’t drink either. Just soda water. Odd.

I guess we should have spotted the give-away signals from their shoes. But we didn’t. Greg challenged them to a pool game. You never saw two guys more hopeless with a cue. Talk about trashed. I figure they blew about $200 between them.
But you know; what goes around comes around. They challenged the boys to a basketball game. “Tomorrow at 9” they said as they went back to the caravan park. “Find a hoop.” There was a netball hoop out the back so the boys nailed it up to a back wall. 9 o’clock came around and our two new skinny mates appeared bouncing a ball between them. Off came their shirts to reveal professional basketball shirts. Both were printed “The Thompson Boys” and were numbered 8 and 9.
Our turn to get creamed. Our boys never saw the ball. Curtis fell and twisted his ankle and the game went on; five of us against Troy. We still got thrashed. This guy could both jump and dunk. Turned out he was a semi-pro. It was fun though!

Water Skiing with Crocs?

This guy walked with a swagger and an air of confidence. He seemed to know what he was about, that’s for sure. Had a couple of beers and asked about getting a boat to do some fishing. But he blew it when he asked if there was any water skiing…

Strewth, didn’t he know the whole area is infested with Crocs?
Johnno took control. “Sure mate, we got a ski boat. Wanna come out with us Saturday?”
Deal done. Little did we know what was going to happen?
So it’s Saturday morning. Nolan, Johnno and a couple of the lads put the boat in the river, loaded the skis and fishing gear on board and off they went. Nolan asked to drive and immediately put the hammer down. He knew how to handle the boat, that’s for sure.
Johnno pointed out a good fishing spot and within a few minutes Nolan had a couple of big ones onboard. He just kept on landing them and it was then that Pete noticed the logo on his tattered blue shirt “simPRO Inaugural Fishing Comp Winner”. Come in spinner.
“OK, who’s driving while I ski? He asked. We figured we’d give him a try, nothing better to scare the living daylights out of a bloke than a croc, hey?
Pete drove like a madman but couldn’t get him off balance. 25 minutes of high speed skiing and they were back at the ramp.
“Thanks boys, my shout, hey?” We let him.

Jessica’s Fishing Trip

Jess was a classic. A great sheila if there ever was one; frankly an outback bloke’s dream. Never known a girl who could wield a screwdriver like her.
How did we find out?
Jess came to the pub one morning after driving overnight from The Isa. And that morning the till had stuffed up. So anyway, just as we were wondering what the hell to do, in she came. Tall and surprisingly elegant in jeans and sand shoes, she ordered a beer and when Rex said he couldn’t change the $20 she offered because the till was rooted, she pulled this amazing wonder tool out of her handbag and just attacked the till.
No kidding, inside ten minutes the till was fixed. “Strewth lady, that was amazing” said Rex. “How much do we owe you?”
Her response made her a real favourite for the time she was with us… “Free beer”.
So we took her fishing the next day and of course, she caught the biggest damn Barra of the day.
My kinda girl – drinks beer and catches Barra.